Hobbies help us enjoy our downtime, feel a special connection with something we enjoy, foster self-confidence, develop a new skill and find a community of like-minded people. The same is true for people of any age, including your kids. Instead of forcing a hobby on them, let them develop their own interests into a hobby they love. These eight tips will help you guide your child through that exciting journey of self-discovery.
1. Keep it low pressure
Don’t punish or shame them if they don’t stick with it. “Children often change their minds; it’s a natural part of development,” says Lorie Anderson, a parenting blogger at MomInformed.com who holds a master’s degree in education from Purdue University. “What interests a child at age five (dinosaurs, for example) may cease to be interesting even a year or two later. Give your child the latitude to choose their hobbies and activities and don’t shame them for ‘giving up’ if it simply doesn’t interest them anymore. They will find another interest quickly and you can help them pursue it.”
2. Take an interest in their interests
This may seem obvious, but look even closer at what they do and say that could lead you towards a hobby idea to suggest. “Play and creative expression can reveal a lot about your child’s passions, and this can be a great way to determine hobbies that may be of interest,” says Anderson. Dr. Leah Alexander, a pediatrician in Fairview, New Jersey and a medical consultant for momlovesbest.com, agrees: “For example, a four-year-old who loves jumping and pulling up onto furniture may enjoy taking gymnastics or tumbling classes. An eight-year-old who spends hours playing with a toy instrument may do well with music instruction. A preteen who likes art and Japanese anime may enjoy a drawing class. Volunteering at an animal shelter may be an ideal activity for a teen who loves animals.”
3. Keep an eye on if you’re interested or they’re interested
Are they reflecting your enthusiasm or their own? It’s okay to share your own interests with your kids, but don’t take it personally if they are drawn to something that doesn’t interest you at all. This is for them, not you.
4. Hobbies should be fun, not forced
If they’re not into sports, this isn’t the place to try to get them to try again after they already rejected the idea. If they already love movies, think of movie poster collecting. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t also encourage trying new things, but exploring what you know they already like is a good place to start to find a hobby they will naturally enjoy.
5. Get out and about.
Attending a Renaissance Faire or a hockey game could be what sparks a new hobby idea without the commitment of enrolling them in a class or camp to try something new. You’ll be able to see if they are genuinely enjoying the event while you’re there to get you on the right track. Other low-investment ways to broaden their horizons include books, magazines, documentaries, TV shows and conversations with new people.
6. Suggest hobbies that can grow with your child
Learning an instrument is a perfect example; they can keep learning more as they get older. A hobby like collecting Pokemon cards doesn’t have much evolution to it as your child ages. The sense of accomplishment of learning something with endless new levels and tasks like learning how to play an instrument can foster a lifelong passion and confidence.
7. Remain encouraging without pressuring
Parenting is full of delicate balances, and this is one. While following the above tips about keeping it low-pressure and unforced, you should still encourage your child. They may be shy, easily frustrated, or nervous about trying something new or not getting something right the first time. You know your child best to be able to recognize when they really hate an activity or they could just use a little push to try again.
8. Learn from what doesn’t work
Every time you eliminate a potential hobby from the list is another step towards finding what does work. Nicole Evert is a teacher who shares her personal hobbies with her own kids to see if they like them, too. “Now there are times when our kids don’t really care for our hobbies. That’s okay and even encouraged,” says Evert. “Take a moment and talk to them about what they enjoyed and what they disliked. This conversation is a great starting point to discovering other hobbies your child may enjoy.”
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