If your toddler’s testing their teeth in all the wrong places, they may be seeking attention, having difficulty communicating, or craving oral stimulation. Learning what triggers your toddler to bite is the first step in stopping the behavior.
In this article, we’ll explore the things that lead to toddler biting and what you can do about it.
Table of Contents
- Reasons for Toddler Biting
- What to Do in the Moment
- Preventing Toddler Biting
- When to Worry About Toddler Biting
Key Takeaways
- Toddler biting can happen because a child isn’t able to communicate, is exploring cause and effect, or needs oral stimulation. It can also be attention-seeking behavior or self-defense.
- In the wake of a biting incident, you should intervene quickly, stay calm, and give clear instructions to stop.
- Take the biting child away from the victim, and then comfort the victim, cleaning and caring for the injury. Discuss the incident with the biter, reinforcing that the behavior is unacceptable and giving other ways to express feelings or address what prompted it.
- After a biting incident, it’s important to keep a close eye on your child to make sure it does not become habitual.
- To avoid biting incidents in the future, understand the triggers of the behavior, give your child acceptable alternatives, and support their communication skills. You can also practice social skills at home and maintain their bedtime routine so that they don’t get overtired.
Reasons for Toddler Biting
If your child has been downright vampiric with their self-expression lately, don’t get out the garlic just yet. There are many different reasons your toddler may be biting, and figuring out which one it is will help you know what to do. Let’s take a look.
Inability to Communicate
Your toddler may bite because they can’t find the words to match their emotions. Basically, their language skills aren’t developed enough.
This can be exacerbated if your child is overtired or overwhelmed. Without the energy to find better ways to communicate, they may resort to this impulsive behavior.
Cause and Effect Exploration
This is the age at which children start to experiment with cause and effect. Your toddler may be biting to see what response they can elicit from the victim, you, or their teacher.
Oral Stimulation
Although this may seem surprising, children who are teething sometimes bite because they have sore gums. As toddlers get their two-year molars between 23 and 33 months of age, it’s prime time for soothing their own pain with this undesirable behavior.
Attention Seeking and Power Dynamics
Another reason your toddler may bite is that they’re showing off to or looking for attention from their classmates. They may be trying to get someone to move, bait them into retaliation, or just demonstrate power or control over them.
Self Defense
Sometimes, biting is a child’s way of defending themselves. If someone tries to hurt them, using their teeth could be their way to strike back.
What to Do in the Moment
If your child bites someone, there are steps you can take to calm the situation down.
Intervene Quickly
First, in the wake of a biting incident, it’s important to react quickly. Kneel down so you’re eye to eye with the biter, and say “no” or “no biting” in a firm, no-nonsense voice.
Stay Calm and Be Clear
When addressing the biter, the calmer you are, the better. Avoid yelling, shaming, or getting physical. Look them in the eye and be clear with your message so there’s no mistake about the fact that what they did was wrong.
Take the Biter Away from the Victim
To avoid upsetting the victim further, take the biter out of the room or situation, and instruct them to sit quietly until you can talk to them. Giving the biter too much focus may feed any attention-seeking inclination, inadvertently encouraging the behavior.
Comfort the Victim
With the biter sitting quietly, you can then comfort the victim. Clean their injury and get ice or first aid if it’s necessary. Encourage them to resume what they had been doing or find a quiet activity while you discuss the incident with the biter.
When it’s all said and done, resist the inclination to “mend fences” between the two children or urge them to play together again. It’s best if they have time to recover and reflect on their own.
Discuss the Incident with the Biter
When sitting down to discuss the incident with the biter, start by reinforcing the wrongness of their action in a firm and serious tone.
Ask them what happened that caused them to bite the other child, and restate what they tell you with words that describe their feelings as well as the rules. For instance: “Marcy took your toy. You were mad. You bit Marcy. I cannot allow you to hurt Marcy. No biting.”
This will help frame the incident in a way that’s simple for them to understand. Then, discuss with the child other ways they could have responded to the situation.
Preventing Toddler Biting
Even better than addressing a biting incident quickly is avoiding it in the first place. Here are some things you can do to curtail your child’s urge to bite.
Determine Triggers
Think about biting incidents that have happened in the past, and determine if there were any common behaviors or circumstances. Once you identify triggers, you can take steps to eliminate them.
One common situation that often ends in biting is sharing. To sidestep any issues around sharing, set up rules to minimize disputes, such as taking turns (and how long those turns can be).
Give Acceptable Alternatives
Sometimes biting can be due to a lack of imagination for more acceptable reactions to a situation. Modeling other options can help.
For instance, if your child is biting because they have sore gums, offer them a cold teething ring or a chilled washcloth to chew on. Just remember to be positive and constructive with any changes you suggest.
Support Communication Skills
When you’re watching your child play, don’t be afraid to help them communicate by describing what your child may be thinking. For instance, you might ask, “John, do you want your turn with the ball for a while? You can ask Steven, ‘Can I have my turn?’”
If you notice your child is getting upset but isn’t expressing it, help them put their feelings into words. You might say, “John, you are feeling very angry right now. Grrr!” Then encourage safe ways to expel their anger, like jumping up and down or ripping up a newspaper.
Practice Social Skills at Home
Practice isn’t just for sports and academics. Toddlers can learn a lot by practicing social skills at home as well. Try role-playing, reading books about biting, or playing social and emotional skill games to help reinforce the correct behaviors.
For instance, Begin’s Learn with Sesame Street app can help your child build their social skills with fun and engaging activities.
Maintain Bedtime and Sleep-Friendly Habits
Overtiredness is often the root cause of a biting incident because when your toddler is tired, it’s harder for them to think of alternative behaviors or ways to communicate.
Make sure their room is conducive to sleep (dark and quiet), and that you’re sticking to their sleep schedule and bedtime routine.
Keep a Close Watch
If a biting incident does occur, keep a close watch of your child afterwards. Stay alert for situations where biting is likely, and remind them of their strategies and alternatives as soon as you see them getting frustrated.
When to Worry about Toddler Biting
If your child is consistently biting past age three or four, if they’re biting themselves regularly, or if their bites are breaking skin and causing real pain, it’s a good idea to talk to your pediatrician.
Additionally, if you see other signs of developmental delay or you notice red flags with their behavior, a doctor’s visit is warranted.
Foster Social Skills with Begin
Toddler biting can be the result of undeveloped communication skills, a need for oral stimulation, or desire for attention. The best way to avoid a biting incident is to learn your child’s triggers and help them find different ways to express their frustration before they turn to their teeth.
Our Learn with Sesame Street app can help your toddler practice social skills, such as sharing (one of the most common reasons toddlers bite), in a fun and engaging way.
Let Begin’s activities and games help your child develop the academic, social, and emotional skills that will serve them well for the rest of their life!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is red flag behavior for a two-year-old?
Red flag behavior, which warrants a conversation with your pediatrician, includes speech delays (such as having a vocabulary of fewer than 50 words and no two-word phrases), not responding to their name, lack of eye contact, and the inability to change course.
Long tantrums, social withdrawal, repetitive behavior, and skill regressions are additional concerning behaviors to look out for.
What is the biting child syndrome?
Biting child syndrome is when children aggressively bite to test their power and get attention because they are unhappy, jealous, or anxious. This is more common with children who have experienced physical violence or harsh punishments.
Is ignoring biting a good strategy?
No. Although ignoring can be a good strategy for behavioral issues like tantrums, the same is not true for biting. If you ignore a playful attempt at biting, the child may not understand that it is unacceptable behavior, and it may even encourage it.
