Whether it looks like handling an unexpected change (e.g., a trip to the playground being canceled because of rainy weather) or solving a problem (e.g., there aren’t enough cookies to go around), flexible thinking is important.
And not just for kids! Handling unexpected changes and challenging yourself to see multiple perspectives—both examples of flexible thinking—are vital skills for anyone to learn. After all, one of life’s constants is change.
When our kids learn to think flexibly, they gain the skills to imagine different solutions to problems and explore new paths to their goals. In this article, discover ways to support your child’s flexible thinking—and hone yours, too!
Key Takeaways
- A key executive function (which helps regulate behavior and achieve goals), flexible thinking is a critical part of self-regulation and managing tough emotions.
- Tips for helping your child develop flexible thinking include modeling flexible thinking, validating your child’s feelings, showing faith in their abilities, creating low-impact opportunities to practice, encouraging your child to ask for help, changing the rules of a game, changing up a routine, teaching self-talk, praising flexible thinking, and modeling other coping mechanisms.
- Flexible thinking falls into the category of critical thinking, one of the 6Cs at the heart of the Begin Approach to helping kids thrive.
Table of Contents
- What Is Flexible Thinking?
- Why Is Flexible Thinking Important?
- 10 Tips for Helping Kids Practice Flexible Thinking
What Is Flexible Thinking?
Feeling disappointed because you didn’t get your first choice, but accepting your second. Compromising with your friend on what kind of structure to build with the blocks. Taking a risk to try something new even if you’re a little scared. These are examples of how a child can use flexible thinking.
A key executive function, flexible thinking is the ability to think about things differently or in more than one way. It’s a critical part of self-regulation, and it plays a big role in managing tough emotions.
Flexible thinking nurtures a growth mindset. It’s what allows your child to say, “This is what I want to happen. But it can’t right now. What else can I do instead?”
Why Is Flexible Thinking Important?
Flexible thinking makes space for new ideas, more perspectives, and better outcomes. When your child learns to approach situations this way, they can:
- Learn more efficiently and effectively
- See multiple ways forward
- Think outside the box
- Nurture creativity
- Self-regulate
- Grow problem-solving skills
- Build social skills (by being more willing to collaborate and communicate)
10 Tips for Helping Kids Practice Flexible Thinking
1) Model Flexible Thinking
Our kids pay attention to what we do, so modeling flexible thinking is a great way to teach it! When everyday things don’t go to plan, talk through your thought process so your child can hear how you handle obstacles.
What options do you consider? How do you decide which course of action to take?
2) Validate Your Child’s Feelings
Whatever your child’s first reaction is to a situation, it’s important to validate their feelings, no matter how big. Listen to them, repeat back what they say (asking questions to get clarity, if necessary), and acknowledge that it’s OK to feel that way.
Once your child feels heard, they’re more apt to move on to problem-solving.
3) Show Faith in Their Abilities
When your child is facing a challenge, ask them to come up with some ideas for how they might overcome it. Ask questions about each one so they can see the pros and cons. Give them positive feedback for thinking of solutions.
4) Create Low-Impact Opportunities to Practice
In situations where the stakes aren’t high, try to create opportunities for your child to practice flexible thinking. Let’s say your child is looking forward to having lasagna for dinner, but you run out of tomato sauce and are going to make burgers instead.
If they get upset, ask them for ideas for how to make having burgers more fun.
5) Encourage Your Child to Ask for Help
Encourage your child to ask you or another trusted adult for help when they feel overwhelmed by a challenge or don’t know how to move forward. And even when they do have ideas for solutions, they might find it easier to work through them by bouncing them off other people.
In school, that might look like pairing up with a classmate. At home, it might mean talking with the family around the dinner table.
6) Change the Rules of a Game
Learning how to follow rules in a game is an important skill. But if you want to encourage flexible thinking, changing up a rule or two can be a fun way to practice it.
Maybe you’re playing a board game. You might suggest moving your pieces backward around the board instead of forward. Asking your child to make this small shift gets them thinking flexibly.
7) Change Up a Routine (Just a Little)
Try changing up a small part of your child’s routine to help keep them open to a different way of doing something. For example, if they normally put their shirt on first, then pants, have them try doing it in reverse order.
8) Teach Self-Talk
Guide your child in learning how to “talk” with themselves. This can look like asking them questions so they better understand their thinking or suggesting they draw their thoughts on paper.
Kids are naturally good at talking out loud to themselves, like when they play pretend. Show them they can do the same thing to talk out a problem.
9) Praise Flexible Thinking When You See It
Praise your child’s efforts. For example, you can say things like, “I notice you’re willing to wait 15 minutes to go to the park. I appreciate your flexibility.” Your positive feedback has an impact!
10) Wait a Minute
Sometimes a change in plans feels so disappointing that kids may not see an alternative right away. Encourage your child to use calming strategies to work through big feelings.
Once they have, they’ll be more likely to think flexibly and see things from a new perspective.
So Many Solutions!
Being able to engage in flexible thinking is a cornerstone of a growth mindset. Once kids get comfortable with thinking flexibly, it can open their mind to new ideas, connections, and opportunities.
Because flexible thinking is so fundamental, we’ve built it into many of our products, including solving puzzles in codeSpark and playing memory games in HOMER.
Let Begin help your child find new ways to expand their world!
Frequently Asked Questions
What are some activities that teach flexible thinking?
So many activities leave room to practice flexible thinking, but here are a couple of our favorites. They’re accessible, engaging, and easy to play:
The “What If” Game
Ask idea-starters such as “What would you do if your toy broke?” and “What would you do if you were at your friend’s house and they served you food you’ve never tried before?”
Brainstorming different answers to “what if” questions is a fun way to help your child see alternatives and other perspectives.
Strategy and Logic Games
Many board and card games are perfect for practicing flexible thinking, such as CONNECT4, UNO™, and Go Fish.
In games like these, things change fast. You might be winning in one moment and fall behind in the next. You have to be present for each turn and make decisions based on new information.
What is cognitive flexibility?
Cognitive flexibility is another way to describe being able to think about things differently. It uses flexible thinking as well as other skills including set shifting, working memory, and problem solving.
While cognitive flexibility and flexible thinking may sound like the same thing, flexible thinking is just one part of cognitive flexibility.
What is the difference between “rock brain” and flexible thinking?
“Rock brain” is exactly as it sounds! It means acting like a rock—inflexible, immobile, and unable to change. Flexible thinking is the opposite—being open to new ideas.
